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Wednesday, October 17, 2012


The pain of watching the life flow out of some one I love so thoroughly, intensely and completely is not something I'm capable of describing adequately.  I keep remembering a line written by a male writer I really respect who's name escapes me now, the line goes something along the lines of "amplified to a scream."  The pain I'm feeling is amplified to a scream.

I dug out my Mary Oliver poetry book today.  I thought it would be nice to read these poems to my mother in moments of relative calm.  Now's the time when I just want to sit beside her, hold her hand and cherish each moment I can look at her and see her still breath.

A heart with an arrow is drawn at the top and bottom of the note.  I've no idea when it was written but there's no disputing that it's her handwriting.

hope these eye drops help.  If they do and ou need more, let me know.
Sorry it's only half-full (beside this line there is also another drawing of another heart and inside it reads (I Love Lisa) but if they work, that should sustain you until I get more--

I have never been able to properly describe her in writing.  I have very little notes or remnants of our relationship.  I only have what lives inside me and that does not seem like enough.

Thank you Patty.  Your good wishes and comments have meant more to me than you could ever know.

1 comment:

Patty said...

You are welcome - my heart just aches for you and I check your blog daily for an update on you and your mom. Praying for you all.