Or do I move in with my mother at the end of March? My mother is not in great health, I don't know how much she can help with the baby and Eliza and the woman who runs a day care center is wonderful, but Eliza prefers her current school and so do I. The big pro of staying with my mother is she loves me, something I can not say for C. When I am with Eliza and my mother, though she can't physically help with Eliza the way C can, I feel like I'm part of a family.
C and his family have always cared for Eliza and been there for Eliza so they've been helpful in that regard but they are not caring or interested in me. C's Mom probably shows the most consideration my way but her weird insecurities and her frequent perception of me as a rival have often clouded her treatment of me. Perhaps if C and I had done this the right way, got married, had a longer life together without a child, maybe this would be different. But C and I were together for a while and didn't get married because he refuses to commit to me.
I have stayed with some one who in every way has not made me a priority because it's convenient, my daughter loves him and its hard breaking up a family. Well, I'm done now and though it might be easier to stay with him for those first few weeks after the baby is born, it's gonna be that much harder to leave when I do. One one hand, moving again could be very traumatic on Eliza and if I don't do things C's way, he won't help me move at all. Packing is very challenging with a big belly.
But then I'll move, have all my stuff in storage, have the hard part behind me and for the last month, Eliza and I can settle into our new life and get ready to welcome the new baby. I'll welcome the new baby into the world with the worst of it behind me. It's cruel to C, to leave and cut him off from the new baby bonding process when he's now willing to take time off work and help out. I don't want to be cruel, I just want to do what's best for me.
And I think I already know what that is.