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Saturday, January 19, 2008

Things to do in 2008

Since I already spend a good deal of time with my darling daughter, my goal this January is to spend more quality time with my girl.  At age 2, Eliza is quite headstrong and demanding.  If she doesn't want to go out, she kicks as I put on her pants or fights getting into her jacket.  Much of the time we spend together is with me, practically in tears, begging her to let me put her in the stroller.  I also seem to spend too much time cleaning, cooking, yapping on the phone.  Every day I vow to make sure she and I spend more fun together.  Some days I'm more successful than others.

I really hope to find some kind of work outside the home that utilizes my creativity.  I might take the plunge and direct my short film, work harder to pursue freelance writing options or look closely at different graduate school programs.  As Eliza eases further into her independence, I find myself starving for more adult interaction.  

I'm done evaluating my situation with C.  Although he's trying as hard as he can and I'll admit to being a pretty difficult person to be with, I'm done.  It's tough to break up a family, especially an extended family with siblings who love my daughter.  I don't feel loved here.  We have no plans to get married and in the end, I'm an old-fashioned girl.  I don't believe in forcing a marriage that shouldn't happen.  But I don't want my daughter to grow up thinking that marriage isn't worth striving for.

1 comment:

heiresschild said...

marriage is definitely worth striving for; however, it takes two people to make it work, which includes lots of communication and work on both parts. we take our car to the car shop when it needs work; we go to the dr when our health needs it; likewise, there are outside sources such as books, conferences, and counseling for relationships. sometimes we stay too long in a situation, even when we know it isn't working, and it's really not fair to any of the people involved. i wish you peace and happiness within yourself.